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February 19, 2003

Issue 4

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Ten-Pin Bowling: Pinning your hopes on some skill, a bit of luck, and the obligatory beer

Too much spare time as you wait idly for the January exams? Why not join the tenpin bowling club? Fay Winter showcases the various categories you can aspire to and lets you in on the lingo…

The ‘Pro’ Bowler
Three quick steps to the line, an elegant follow through with the arm as the ball rolls effortlessly from the fingers. A flick of the trailing leg, then step back and watch with the smug knowledge that the ball will curl back just in time to hit the headpin and send all the others toppling to the floor.

The ‘Speed’ Bowler
Their hefty swing can reach in excess of 20mph. These guys are officially known as “crankers.” Stay well away.

The ‘Wannabe’ Bowler
Every group of mates going down for a fun game can boast one of these. They might get lucky and watch their effort smash through the pins at the end of the lane. This calls for much celebration, usually in the form of a loud cheer and arm signal to correspond, followed by a look round for any good looking members of the opposite sex that may have been watching.

The ‘Beer’ Bowler
Most students fit into this category. If you can manage a whole pint between frames, then join up. Stunt shots such as superman dives down the lane seem like a great idea to them at the time. It’s only usually their kneecaps (and the management of the establishment) that disagree.

The ‘Lucky’ Bowler
The ones that don’t really care what they bowl, as long as it’s fun. Yet every time they take a shot, as the ball thumps rather ungracefully onto the lane, you know it’s going to work for them. The ball rolls too far to the side of the lane and you think there’s no way of a score more than two. But you’re wrong. As those two pins topple to the floor, five others decide they’re going too. Why does that never happen to me?

The ‘Flukey’ Bowler
Not so consistently lucky, but odd shot does impress. The ball is clumsily released and bowler turns his back on the lane in disappointment, only for onlookers to witness a surprise strike that never should have happened.

The ‘Unlucky’ Bowler
No matter how well these guys bowl, they can never manage a score over 90. Ah well you know what they say, ‘it’s not the winning, it’s the…’

The ‘Gutter’ Bowler
My type of bowler. Consistent at least, but every shot veers off to one side or the other, rolling majestically down the gutter, and leaving the pins to fight another frame.

Join the Napier Tenpin Bowling Club, now under new management, every Wednesday at 7.30pm at Brannigans, Fountainpark, for a few drinks and then on to Megabowl for a couple of games. Bowling is only £1.25 per game with us - you can’t get it cheaper anywhere else!

So if you like bowling, or beer, or both, join us for a few games. Just remember these famous words: “Ah Dude, let’s go bowling!”